Happiness (?)

2 months into therapy, my main goal is supposed to be happiness. but what counts as happiness? i remember my first day on AD's. it was surreal. i felt invigorated. like nothing could spoil my day. i spent the first week grinning my ass off!! but then i wondered if that was happiness.. these anti depressants make you happy.. so there is this chemical formula for happiness.. and thats kind of weird... that means some one has pre decided what happiness for each individual should be.. i was supposed to be text book definition of 'happy'.. its kind of INSANE if you think about it.. luckily my pill popping suicidal days are over and im happy... but i cant help thinking what 'happy' am i? am i happy how i want to be? or am i happy by what the shrink wants me to be.. you know... i dont really care! im happy. period. i cant believe i just spent the last 10 minutes coming down to that.. i really love to meander don't i! IM HAPPY, BITCH! (im not even going to bothering proof reading this now! so please forgive me if this doesn't make any sense!)